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Rock My Soul: An Article on Facing the Pain

“Although we may have had a long period of silence, maybe even denial, when we have been unable to speak openly and honestly about the crisis in how we see ourselves and others and how we are seen, we black folks know that our collective wounded self-esteem has not been healed. We know that we are in pain. And it is only through facing the pain that we will be able to make it go away.”


The quote written above is an excerpt from Rock My Soul, a book by Bell Hooks. It talks about elevating the self esteem of a hurting people—black people. It’s obvious that African Americans were not widely accepted after slavery ended. We were seen as inferior to white people. And what a powerful and negative word that is. Inferior means “of or characteristics of low rank or importance; of low quality.” Could you imagine being treated like an animal? Being looked down upon everyday. White people telling you that you’re not worthy. That they are better than you. No wonder we are in such pain.

Unfortunately, though, instead of addressing this pain, we carry it around with us everyday.


Have you ever eaten a whole day’s worth of calories in one sitting without even realizing it? You mindlessly eat and you’re not sure why and you don’t know how to stop? Guilty. Did you know that this binging goes much deeper than food?  “Not wanting to look at something painful is at the very foundation of compulsive eating” (LeBlanc). The other day I was thinking to myself that it’s easier to eat…or not eat, than to think. And it’s so true. It’s so much easier to pick up a bag of cookies when you’re depressed than to address the problem at hand. So, let’s challenge ourselves to run towards the problem instead of away from it. Now, don’t freak out on me yet. We’re going to take baby steps to healing this psychological and emotional pain you are experiencing:


  1. Forgive. Before doing anything, forgive whomever is hurting you. Whether you need to forgive a family member, a significant other, a friend, or yourself. Forgive. Address the problem and let it go.
  2. Become more aware. By this, I mean to thoughtfully examine your thoughts prior to, during, and after you eat. Ask yourself a few questions, such as, “Are you hungry? How are you feeling right now?” On days when I would stare into the pantry looking for something to eat, I would ask myself, “What are you searching for?” Are you really hungry or are you searching to fulfill a void within your life? Be a conscious eater. Eat on purpose.
  3. Slow down while you eat. If you’re going to eat, enjoy it! Don’t rush through your meal, leaving you feeling unsatisfied and maybe even falsely hungry. Take time to chew and enjoy your food. It will prevent overeating and promote enjoyment of your food.
  4. Get uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but this is probably the most difficult step for me. But, it’s so rewarding once you take that leap of faith. Talk to people about the problems you are having with them. Address them and be honest. Don’t hold it in anymore. And once you open it, the burdens on your back will slowly melt away and the desire to eat compulsively will leave with it. It’s such an amazing feeling to know that you are healing.

These are just a few tips for how to overcome overeating, though there is so much more to be learned and to be done. This is only a start, and I know it’s going to be hard. If you are struggling with compulsive eating and need support, feel free to message me, Tif Tiff Tiffany for encouragement and advice. Also, be sure to check out this book: You Can’t Quit til You Know What’s Eating You by Donna LeBlanc. Now, to end with a quote:

“Edibles, no matter how many or how scrumptious, succulent, sweet, and sublime, can tranquilize us only temporarily. However, it is possible to discover the real cause of our appetite and then put together our own foodless recipe for lasting gratification.”


Don’t give up. There’s hope for a day with no binges:-)

Tiffany Love

posted by admin in Binge Eating,Emotional Eating,Overeating and have Comments (9)